Hard Times Headlines

Just a few satirical news bits in the style of the popular website.

Stick to Your Guns Frontman Announced As President-Elect Biden’s Head Speech Writer

Boys Like Girls Admits: “Boys Can Like Boys Too”

Disappointed Marxist At Wrong “Mayday Parade” Event

Mike Huckabee to Become New NOFX Bassist/Singer, “Fatter Mike”

Straight-Edge Man At All Ages Show For All the Wrong Reasons

Eternal Teenager Mark Hoppus Claims He’s Never Heard of PEN ISLAND, Doesn’t Know How to Type “boobs” on Calculator

Want To Feel Old? The World’s Biggest Sum-41 Fan Is A Lawyer

Introducing PitFit – Long Island’s New “Hardcore” CrossFit Gym

Environmental Scientists in Belgium Are Playing Harms Way Records for Their Windmills, And The Results Are Electrifying!

Professional Wrestler Andy “The Butcher” Williams Outed As Member of Hardcore Band Every Time I Die

Neck Deep Now Completely Submerged in Quicksand

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