Hard Times Headlines

Just a few satirical news bits in the style of the popular website.

Stick to Your Guns Frontman Announced As President-Elect Biden’s Head Speech Writer

Boys Like Girls Admits: “Boys Can Like Boys Too”

Disappointed Marxist At Wrong “Mayday Parade” Event

Mike Huckabee to Become New NOFX Bassist/Singer, “Fatter Mike”

Straight-Edge Man At All Ages Show For All the Wrong Reasons

Eternal Teenager Mark Hoppus Claims He’s Never Heard of PEN ISLAND, Doesn’t Know How to Type “boobs” on Calculator

Want To Feel Old? The World’s Biggest Sum-41 Fan Is A Lawyer

Introducing PitFit – Long Island’s New “Hardcore” CrossFit Gym

Environmental Scientists in Belgium Are Playing Harms Way Records for Their Windmills, And The Results Are Electrifying!

Professional Wrestler Andy “The Butcher” Williams Outed As Member of Hardcore Band Every Time I Die

Neck Deep Now Completely Submerged in Quicksand

Published by boriscanzano

Hello! My name's Boris. I'm a writer, chef, musician and Italian-American. I like to write just about anything creative--poetry, prose, songs, jokes, scenes and whatever else I need to. Stop reading now. Fine. Words and food have both been lifelong interests. By the time I was five I was off the kids' menu. In middle school I won an award for being the best at grammar. I won the spelling bee as well, just so you know. Please check out my website that you are on right now. A little bit of it is serious, some of it tastes good and some of it is just practice. There's a lot more writing stuff I can show you but you have to ask really nice.

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